Consciously, you may be trying to lose weight, eat healthy, exercise daily, wake up early, and have all the “good” habits. But you keep sabotaging yourself. Maybe you know the physical steps to losing weight but you don’t do them. Maybe you know what food makes your body feel good but you keep feeding it food that makes you feel sick. Maybe you are trying everything but you just can’t lost the weight. The answers are in your subconscious, and doing shadow work will help you uncover them.
Firstly, losing weight does not mean you don’t accept yourself. I have often heard, and I am sure you have as well, that accepting yourself means you can’t try to lose weight. You can accept yourself the way you are and also have the body and lifestyle you desire. Self love doesn’t mean that you stop striving for what you want, it means you support yourself, you have compassion, and lovingly call yourself out on bull shit.
For some reason you are self sabotaging your efforts to lose weight. For some reason, you want to stay the way you are. Some part of you secretly wants the fat. So grab a pen and a paper and write down all the possible ways you are benefiting from the weight, all the reasons why you don’t really want to change.
It could be that you believe you deserve to be over weight. It could be that you are punishing yourself. Or, it could be as simple as you don’t want to spend the money on a new wardrobe. Whatever the reasons, write them down.
You may notice a pattern in your lists of why you secretly want to be fat. You are afraid. When I was trying to lose weight, I learned that I didn’t really want to be seen. I was comfortable being invisible. I was afraid of being my true self. Create a new list, this time writing down all of the fears.
As you are writing, feel this fear inside you. Don’t reject it or push it away. Feel it without judgement. Say these words, “thank you, fear, thank you for coming when called. Thank you for protecting me. I no longer need you, I release you”. Feel the fear for as long as it is there. (If you feel it longer than a few minutes your head may be interfering, which is okay. Just practice).
You may have experienced a lot of shame around being over weight. You are absolutely allowed to desire a thinner body and a healthier lifestyle. But, nothing will change if your weight is tied to your self worth. You also don’t need to push away or reject your shame. Feel it, feel it without judgement and let it go. The best way to do this is in meditation, the thing I will be telling you to do forever.
This just scrapes the surface of the shadow and weight loss, but it is a good start. If you want to work with me or have any questions, send me a message (you can find my Instagram in the about me page).
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